My main thing is to learn to love my self and handle change with a stress-free attitude. You are not always going to be able to date someone who lives just down the road, and distance might be a big factor in your relationship. I do think he is genuinely busy but hes made no move to integrate me into his life (I havent met his friends or family). By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. When they initially get your phone number, it should be because you're moving quickly toward a meet up. We miss each other. If the two of you are serious about continuing your relationship, even with the distance, you will have to find stuff to fill up your week with, to keep you distracted and busy while the two of you are apart. We also live on opposite sides of the country. If you are concerned that your boyfriend does not want to see you more often during the week, and if you feel like your relationship is not moving anywhere, here is what you could do: The first thing you should do is talk to him. Remember to go where youre celebrated, not just tolerated. She doesn't normally play a lot. Genius life & organization hacks. I always give him the dates that work with both mine and his work schedule and allow him to choose the dates he wants to hang with me. Sometimes Im afraid to make plans for fear of overwhelming him. It used to be so darned simple but this generation almost seems to be floating around with all these terms that have no meaning. Meaning across the world kind of distance. Even an hour trip away, or being in the neighboring city, can be a taxing trip, and one that made more than once a week becomes undoable. Even if it is cheesy, it speaks to me and coaxes that "romantic" side in me. He is feeding you words, those words are like glue for some women. Because of this, it is totally normal to not want to spend all of your time together. Fresh beauty ideas. If he views you as just someone he can sleep with, the chances are he will not want to spend a dime on you, but he will do everything in his power to try to get you in bed. Do you assume your bf isn't busy? Captian_Cocksmith Being dependent on you to be happy or entertained. He still texts me every morning and night, and is warm, attentive, and kind. By the time you read this, Patricia, your relationship will probably have dissolved. LoveDevani is an independent website. I'm seeking help now. If a guy is totally into a woman and see a future with her, he would make time for her in his busy schedule. But youre allowing this to continue. 1. If hes too busy to see you more frequently, hes too busy to date you, period. Why Does My Boyfriend Only Want To See Me Once A Week? I am just very confused on what to do. More. He still texts me every morning and night, and is warm, attentive, and kind. If the relationship isn't meeting your needs you need to talk about it to see how you can move things along,or if he is resistant to that then accept that for him it is a bit of "weekend delight", and if you want more you are going to have to move on. Normally for like 6 hours, and i don't mind it, i have something to look forward to saturday for. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other regularly for 4 months. If he gets mad tell him he had a chance to make you a priority in his life but didn't so he has no one to blame but himself. Rarely, he's allowed a 2 minute phone call from a pay phone, but he's usually surrounded by like 60+ plus dudes waiting their turn, which makes my sweet, introverted infantryman uncomfortable acting like himself on the phone. If he could, he would have sex with me multiple times a day, 7 days a week. We just make time for each other when it works for both of us, and we don't force anything. If a relationship isn't progressing, end it. We currently are doing long distance where he is home working and I am away at school. A true partner will want to work on a compromise so both persons desires are being met. I think you might see the situation differently if you changed your opening question to better reflect the situation, from. At the same time he wants to keep seeing me, just maybe Friday and Saturday, with the occasional weekday lunch. Mature relationships come with mature responsibilities, and his job might be very demanding. I dont know what I should do, Your advice is appreciated. Loneliness can blind some folks. I agree with you. However, you can try some ways on how to tell your long distance relationship boyfriend you need more attention. He didnt want to hang out, I was lucky if once every 3 weeks, he went from being okay with our phone calls and texts to absolutely hating my calls and texts saying I was too demanding and needy for simply wanting to talk to him when we couldnt be face to face. The worst thing we ever did was keep forcing the conversation when we did not feel like there was anything we needed to talk about and it only dragged us down. I just want my person next to me. I am at a stage where I am wanting to live with him. You will start to wonder why your boyfriend does not want to see you more than once a week. He's been off at training since the beginning of summer, and I have only seen him once for a ten hour pass he had about a month ago. Ultimately, the answer to, "How often should I see my boyfriend or girlfriend?" totally depends on you and your SO. I'm in a seriously long distance relationship. I've stopped going round there now & ive started doing my own things. I can't be upset at what's brought me such incredible amounts of joy. I've been with my LDR boyfriend for a year now and went to see him after around 6 months into our relationship. He usually wants to go to his parents' house every single weekend he gets to come home. I'm really really sad, because we had so much in common and I really liked him, but he just never made me feel that I was special enough in his life. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Writing uses a different part of your brain, so I'm told, which makes it easier to lay out exactly what you mean to say without any misunderstandings, because you can visually see it all in front of you. At the end of the day, he might be exhausted and the last thing he feels like doing is driving to come to see you, or going out to dinner. This kind of relationship works really well if both people have the same expectations and needs. After following and mastering my system, youll be the same person you are today with one important difference youll have a bottomless well of knowledge and self-confidence you need to find your future husband. Find ways for your boyfriend or girlfriend to spend one-on-one time together. We see each other, on average, about once a month. Friday night he comes over and stays till Monday morning and then we are apart again. You cant kick a dead horse. If the relationship is a good few months old and he still only sees you once a week, you should sit down with him and talk about why this happens, and decide whether it is the type of relationship you want! Iyanu Fakoya and Femi Adebuji walked down the aisle on the 10th of October, 2015.They met after their mutual friends' match making efforts and after a lot of forming . 2. But I think what we did was find something that fit for us. He doesn't like to make plans. I just don't want the what if to haunt me for the rest of my life, I get this cause I'm an introvert as well (I will listen to music while with friends (when I had them) with earbuds in sometimes as a form of checking out for a bit) but he isn't or if levels exist then he isn't as much cause he will Def hang with his friends 3 days that week if all their schedules lined up. He knows your hobbies . But perhaps the task he is doing isn't important to you, but it's important to him. Every weekend we stay at either mine or his place. By his own admission, hes a pleaser who says yes to everything until he explodes or disappears. We'd talk on the phone and email during the week, but never see each other. I have a career where 14 hour days are common and no matter how much you want to see someone, there is not a ton of time. Bf only wants to see me once or twice a week I am trying to not take this personally but I'm failing at it. They claim to want intimacy and, when shit starts to get real, they pull away from it. Those coins make me think of how much I love him, and how much he loves me. It may be different for us because, although he might be open to cohabitation or marriage, I'm less inclined toward those. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. A relationship is a big change to both of your lives, and whilst you may be ready to move forward quickly, he may take more time to get used to it. I'm seeing your point of view and it makes sense so thank you. He likes having his ego stroked. Evan Marc Katz Dating Coach for Smart Successful Women. If you don't mind me asking do you automatically spend the whole weekend (at least the nights) together and how often do you talk? He buys me things, carries my bags, everything a great guy should do. He always plans something for the weekend, but even though I'm wiling to make the drive to see him, he's totally content. I just think that if I am asking you a week in advance and you clearly have the time (I ask what he is doing) and you can't promise me at least 2 days doesn't it seem like he is waiting for something better before committing to a date with me? Youre burned out from dating and dont know what youre doing wrong. You want more. Seattle traffic keeps getting worse, especially crossing the bridges. Hi-if he is so busy that he can only meet up every two weeks-you are not his priority. If he finds just about any excuse to not go out with you, then it is a bit of a red flag. It could've ended badly but in my heart, I knew I could trust him. I want to see him every week. Yeah I dont think only seeing you once a week is ok if he has time for twice. No matter what, if someone loves you, he will manage time to see you however. He seems like a decent and open guy, so why don't you just talk to him openly about your concerns? Hes 55 and has been alone for last 10 years, with relationships that have lasted 1-year tops. Fear is a screaming ball of fire. 3. helodriver87 I needed this tip back in college. He just always seemed like he was perfectly content with his life, and whereas I was willing to make some sacrifices/compromises, he wasn't. That would shake him up , How to shake him up? Personal development. The more we dated, the more I wanted to spend time with him. Good luck ! While some may act overtly menacing, others may resort to subtle manipulation in an attempt to "keep you in check." Perhaps it started out. We can't really read the tea leaves. Our only simultaneous day off together is Sunday. If your boyfriend would rather be with his friends instead of you, there is no need to despair. It was like a little honeymoon every weekend. He said it was OK. The change in routine has put a dark cloud over my attitude. But on the other hand, you're 21 and you trust him completely. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. We make it a priority to talk on the phone every day at least once even if it's only to say "I love you, good night." I encourage you to figure out what you need and also come up with a plan on what you will do if he cannot meet your needs. I worked at least half a day on the weekends, every weekend. Sit down and talk to him about how you feel. I'm one of those. Sorry for the rambling, but your advice is much appreciated. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. My fianc is a solider. When we started dating, he made it clear his two teenage daughters, of whom he has custody, were top priority and that his job as an air . I see my bf weekly ( the entire weekend) and it doesn't feel like enough lol. And same for your bloke. It sounds backwards but I do think relationships often have that subtle dance of push and pull / scarcity and demand rumbling under the surface at times (which makes them sound like a game - and they shouldnt be - but putting rules in place is as equally game-y so this is just a different method). He works part time mainly at nights finishing at 9 pm. If you don't look forward to texts during this phase of your relationship, think about whether it's worth it or not. A man knows what position he wants a woman to play in his life before he even meets her. Sometimes conversations aren't all that exciting sometimes they are depending on what happened with us during the day. Whats the point then if hes not making time for you. We've met up for lunch while he's on the road for only 2 hours. Is it OK that he doesnt hint about a future? If he steps it up and seems to put more effort in,then you could say Do you picture us spending more time together going forward and meeting each others fsmilies? See what he says-if he starts to tell he has no time,is not ready for that-let him go,as he cant be the guy you want. In the beginning we saw each other weekly, Im concerned hes losing interest. Hes an avoidant timebomb waiting to explode. Lost, how long have you been dating this older guy who has not yet met your son but thinks you can spend your lives together? Amber, he is a boyfriend in name only if you are only seeing him twice a month!